Wednesday, May 4, 2011

We DID Start the FIRE!


I wasn’t going for The Mother Teresa Award when I had the *brilliant* idea (a.k.a, INSANE!) a few days ago to trek my fab four through an assisted living facility laden with hand-made May Day baskets of treats to “bless” the elderly people living there.  While I didn’t think I was being outstanding, I certainly didn’t think I would end up having an Evil Knievel affect on the elderly that day rather than a loving Mother Teresa one.  Our visit involved us starting a FIRE and scaring the daylights out of the residents…like I said, my idea was so brilliant!


I’ve been on this “let’s do it with PURPOSE” kick lately.  Whether I’m whipping up some mashed potatoes or making an art project with the kids, I have been pausing to ask, “How could this meal/project/time make a difference for eternity?”  With four pre-school children underfoot every moment of my day, this question may seem a bit far-fetched at times (I should probably be thinking instead, “How can I SURVIVE until bedtime?”) and my husband does sometimes call me unrealistic.  Of course, I much prefer the term “optimistic”!





May Day was just around the corner (thought the actually presence of Spring is still M.I.A!) and my crew and I worked as long as their attention spans would last (about five minutes) to create some fun little May Day baskets and cards.  After this crafting tornado died down, I was left in a wake of glitter, uncapped markers and sheer joy: I love doing life with my children…messes and all!  





As I stared at the May Day Museum spread out to dry on my kitchen counter, I thought: we should take these to some elderly people because older people are sometimes lonely and they usually love children!  Not to mention, my kids would be enriched by interacting with the older generation as well.  Hey, I thought excitedly, this is a WIN-WIN.





May Day dawned gloomy and cold but that didn’t matter because we were bringing our own sunshine!  I loaded up the kids in the van to make the appointment we had at a local assisted living facility and the kids were all smiles as they held hands and entered the living room of  the group home, everything was going according to plan.




Then, once again, LIFE happened…or, as some may say (aka, my husband whose fateful laugh at the proposal of my idea was ringing in my head at that moment): REALITY.  My Little Rays of Sunshine were too busy stuffing their faces with all the candy from the May Baskets to notice any of the sweet little grandmas that came out to say hello.  I tried to give them discreet nudges and little whisper-warnings of being grounded until their 18th birthday if they shoved another piece of candy in their mouths, all while attempting to converse politely with the aforementioned grandmas.  




Since I was holding on to my baby, Gabby, the only one that didn’t look like a chipmunk, I couldn’t actually stop the May Day Mutiny.  Fortunately, none of the residents seemed to notice the May Day Baskets being handed to them by my children were all empty.  The residents did seem to enjoy interacting with the little ones, and my kids also seemed to enjoy the new faces of the elderly.


In fact, I was just breathing a sigh of relief when my nose caught wind of a strange smell…the smell of something burning…the smell of FIRE!  I turned around and saw my four-year-old son standing next to a candle at the kitchen table with a flaming candy wrapper about to burn the tips of his fingers.  I did one of those “Mommy-Air-Jordan” moves (that I’m still hurting from days later) and pretty much flew across the room without my feet ever hitting the floor.  I grabbed the wrapper to save my son’s finger and then realized, Oh, snap.  What do I do with this?  




The only thing that came to mind at that HOT moment was my fifth grade assembly class when the fire department came and taught us the fire safety basics: Stop, Drop and Roll.  So I stopped holding the burning wrapper, dropped it onto the lovely linoleum floor and rolled my tennis shoe on top, burning a little hole into the floor and wishing the hole were big enough for me to crawl into and die of embarrassment!


Meanwhile, the residents looked on in shock and I wondered who we should call first; the fire station to put out the fire, the ambulance to care for the residents we nearly gave heart attacks to, or the police station to arrest me for being so unrealistic in my expectations that it is probably considered illegal!  


After my son also recovered from his shock (“Mom, I didn’t know it would do that!!  I didn’t think…I was just seeing what it would do…”) and joined me in cleaning the floor while apologizing profusely, I felt like the new Evil Knievel of assisted living homes, “Able to start dangerous fires, can leap across walkers in a single bound and (with the assistance of curious little helpers) cause crazy chaos wherever she goes!”  I wondered if there were a secret "Blackball List" that Assisted Living Homes swapped and if I would make tomorrow’s front page.  




After a bit more small talk and head pattings (the elderly to the children), we made our escape…the taste of humble pie still lingering in my mouth.  Ah, LIFE…REALITY is so…unpredictable sometimes!


Well, at least we gave them something to talk about!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Action Girl Strikes Again!


Lately four words have been suspended in the air every time I stand at the crossroads between peace and worry, between fear and faith.


“Do you trust me?”

The situations change, the dilemmas take on different faces but the question remains, “Do you trust me?”

I don’t know…do I, Lord?

Because the answer to that will determine how I respond in this moment and, ultimately, it will determine the outcome of THIS situation...which could change my life forever.

But no pressure, right?!

Can I be real with you?  Trusting sometimes seems like INaction to a girl who loves action (which is why I truly am loving life with all my tiny people, just call me Action Girl!).  Trust seems like giving up but I’m realizing it’s really giving in to the Creator who sees the entire symphony while I stare in confusion at a single note on the music sheet.

You know that saying, “Some people have to learn the hard way?”  Hello, nice to meet you: I am that people.  Darn it all.   I seem to enjoy head-butting a brick wall repeatedly before I finally rub my head and say, “Well, maybe there’s a better way.”  Thankfully, I do eventually learn and try something different!

Just today I heard these four little words again when I hung up the phone after a conversation with my husband (and the loudest “la-la-la” song I could muster didn't do a thing to quiet that question in my soul).

Let me just say, I adore my man.  He’s a good, hard-working man and the best daddy I could have ever dreamed of to our four children.  I feel pretty dang lucky.  That being said...the man drives me crazy sometimes!  Especially when I feel I got marching orders for our life and he has a different idea.  Why can’t he ever just smile and say, “Yes, Dear.”?!  It’s not like I want to be in control…I just think sometimes my way is the HIGH way, as in the BEST way.  Like I said before: brick wall.

Both my husband, Bob, and I felt God put it on our hearts last year to get our home ready to sell.  I have no idea why since raising four children in a two bedroom home has been marvelous fun but, alas, I will sacrifice for the sake of the Kingdom if God has something better for us (wink, wink!).  

It was truly an exciting day last fall when (just a few days after I had decided to be completely content with where we are now) I felt God nudge me and say, “Get the house ready to sell next year.”  When I first heard this, I immediately wanted to know “the scoop”, “Sure, God: but then what?  Should we start looking for a new home?  Where are we going?  What will we be doing?  How will this all work?”  Here was the answer I got: “Do you trust me?”  I took a big breath and nodded, Yes, I do.  

Next, I sealed my lips (which should really be the 8th wonder of the world) and waited patiently for God to confirm this by putting it in Bob’s heart also (can I get a woo-woo from all the ladies out there who also think they hear from God first, ha ha!!).  Sure enough, a few weeks later, Bob (who had wanted to have the house paid off before we ever sold it, i.e. in the year 2050 when we would be transitioning to a nursing home) said the same thing out of the blue and I nearly tackled him to the ground in excitement (which brought NO complaints from him, of course).


Fast forward seven months to this spring as I envision our front yard; flowers blooming, green grass sprouting and a “For Sale” sign attracting just the perfect buyer for our well-loved home.  That would, of course, be according to “Tara’s Way or The Highway Plan” which was vetoed tonight by my sweetheart. His plans included finishing up a few home projects (which for a family short on time and cash and big on family demands made me feel like he was proposing we scale Mt. Everest, blindfolded.) and taking more time (remember, Action Girl here?!) to think and pray about it (boring, ha ha!).  Naturally, I did what any self-respecting Action Girl would do: I proposed my plan again and again…and again from different angles.  I try so hard to be tricky but tonight, I was busted by Bob, “If you insist, we’ll do it your way then.”  An image of a brick wall flashed in my mind and I sighed, “No, it’s okay, we’ll stick to your plan, that sounds wise.”  With that, I hung up and a tear escaped down my cheek.  Nothing was going according to MY plan and I felt helpless when suddenly, I heard four little words,

“Do you trust me?”

Do I trust Him to not only lead me but trust him to lead my husband in the direction we are supposed to go?  When I slipped a shiny band over my fiancĂ©e's finger six years ago and spoke the words of commitment until death that made him my Leader, my Best Friend and my Husband, I meant it.  But there are days that I try to carry a burden that is too heavy for my shoulders, days I try to lead and make him follow ME…days that I DON’T trust him which reminds me I’m not trusting the One that equipped him with the faith and fortitude to lead our family.


“Do you trust me?”

The question hung in the air as I stared at the silent cell phone in my hand.  

But I have to DO something, I have to MAKE something happen!  The protests of Action Girl were met with the same four-word-question and in my mind’s eye, I could see beautiful nail-scarred hands.  Who loves me more?  Who could possibly have a better plan for our life than the One that gave up his only Son so that we could have both life abundantly here on earth and in the life eternal that lays beyond this temporary home.

There was something a Girl of Action could do that would change things while I trusted God…

Something powerful…

Something amazing…

Something real…

I got down on my knees and prayed.

Yes, God, I trust You.





Monday, May 2, 2011

Sunday Morning Disaster



Rain + mud + worms + boys = Sunday Morning Disaster.

Relaxing is no longer an adjective that floats to the surface of my mind when I envision Sunday mornings.


Pre-children years included favorite music filling the house as we emptied our coffee cups and played footsie under the kitchen table.

Post-children years include the music of wailing as we squeeze our crew into uncomfortable church clothes intermingled with the sound of laughter as they streak through the house after their baths decked out in their “nuder-man” outfits (yes, that means naked!).  Meanwhile, the coffee maker sits collecting dust on the counter and the only thing being emptied at breakfast now are my cups of patience and joy as bowls of cereal topple off the table and lakes of milk form on my freshly cleaned hardwood floor.


All of this really gets me in the mood to go to church and be spiritual.  That’s why I’m relieved that real church isn’t a showcase for saints (oops, I missed that anointing for sainthood!) but rather a hospital for sinners.

After what happened this last Sunday, I was more than ready to raise my white hankie in surrender and admit that I sin with the best of them.  Glory hallelujah!

The children were lassoed and decked out in their outfits that included (for the boys) white long sleeved shirts and khakis (with strict instructions to not touch or even THINK about anything dirty), the mountain of Cheerios were swept up and the lake of milk was sopped up as my little soldiers were marched to the door to begin our "Exodus".  I typically begin the “Exodus” from our house about half an hour before we actually need to LEAVE for any given event as history has evidenced Murphy’s Law is a FACT with four children under age five.  


One baby loaded in the car seat and placed in the van, check.

One little girl buckled into her car seat with a handful of fruit snacks to keep her momentarily happy, check.

One three year old boy buckled into his seat with a book to read, check.



One four year old boy buckled into his seat with a book to read as well, check.

One Momma still wearing slippers…oh, snap…check.

“Okay, guys--Momma has to grab some shoes, I’ll be right back so just relax and STAY IN THE VAN, okay?”

They all nodded and I was foolishly deceived into thinking this is what things would look like when I reappeared.  I raced back outside…where I ran smack dab into my four year old son whose hand was submerged up to his elbow in a bucket of DIRT.


I did a double-take, what’s this?!  I immediately noticed His white polo shirt was now a lovely shade of brown and then he noticed a moment later that I had smoke coming out of my ears.

“Oh, Momma…" Gideon said, "I had to check to make sure the worms we caught yesterday are all alive.  Oh, wow--yup, they are.  Okay, I’ll get into the van now…oh, wait--I guess I have a little dirt on me…”

I would like to say I was very spiritual at that moment and reflected on the joys of boys and laughed about it all.  I would like to say that…but, I’ll shoot straight with ya’ll: I didn’t.  I did one of those First/Middle/Last-Name-of-Your-Child-Hollers that probably woke up the neighbors that were hoping to sleep in on a Sunday morning.  I have (quite infrequently) my saint moments, then, the rest of the time, I’m a sinner.


When Gideon and I climbed back into the van a few minutes later (with a clean shirt and dirt still under his fingernails), a little smile was starting to replace my crabby-Momma-face (thank God, that is such a bad look on me!).  When Gideon caught my eye in the mirror as he buckled back into his seat, I winked at him and his face lit up in a smile of his own, all was forgiven.  If God can forgive me for being a SPAZ about LITTLE things, for freaking out when I should take a moment to think before I speak, then how much MORE should I be quick to forgive my children who sometimes mess up in little ways.

I backed out of our driveway and headed towards the hospital for sinners…that was just the kind of place I needed to be on a Sunday morning like this.  I had some dirt of my own that needed to be cleaned up.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

What the H***?!

The joy of watching a dated movie from the top bunk of my son's bunk-bed, on the world’s tiniest screen (I think it’s a 10-incher!), with three little rugrats who are poking their static-haired heads out from the heaps of blankets, is comparable to the joy of watching a new flick on the big screen at the theatre.



The movie du’ jour was a cute cartoon starring Robin Williams named, “Robots”.  It’s amusing laughing at jokes the kids don’t get yet; like when the proud new robot-parents celebrate the arrival of their new baby-robot because it was successfully delivered by their mail man robot...in a box!  As they put together their little baby-robot they are surprised to discover an extra piece in the box of baby-parts, which they soon realize is because it’s a BOY!



Wouldn't it be nice sometimes if our kids were robots and we could program them to be obedient and joyful at all times?  There would be other perks too, such as turning them off at bedtime and removing their mouth-piece if they wouldn’t stop talking our ears off!



But if my children were robots, one of my all-time favorite moments would seem completely meaningless.  I melt into a Mama-puddle anytime they jump into my arms and whisper these three words, “I love you.”



If I knew that I had programmed them to tell me and their daddy these sentiments, then it would seem very unsentimental.  If these words didn't come from their sweet little hearts, I wouldn't truly cherish the way their tiny fingers cup my face as their eyes meet mine and they each declare their love in their own unique way, “I wuv ew, Mommy” or “Mama, I love you lots n’ lots.”


Because could love really be love if it weren't a choice?



Something my husband and I thoroughly enjoy is taking one of our children out on a “Mommy/Daddy Date”.  It’s a special outing that usually involves a special drink (thank you to our date-night sponsor of Icee drinks), a stop at the park or lake to feed the ducks and sometimes (if they’re really lucky), a visit to their favorite store where they get this surprise, “Pick out any toy you want!!”  Of course, this is usually followed up with, “Okay, except that toy for $54.99.  How about ANY toy you want…for under $5?!”  Thankfully, they are just as happy with that!



I haven’t yet had this happen, but imagine with me that I were to ask our four-year-old, Gideon, if he wanted to join me for a Mommy Date and he replied, “No thanks.”


Well, I would think, he must not realize how great of a time this is going to be.  So I would crouch down eye-to-eye with my son and carefully explain what our date would be like,

“You would get a special drink, we could feed the ducks and you could even pick out a new toy.  Maybe we could stop and rent your favorite Batman show at the video store.  What do you think, big guy?”

If Gideon were to just shrug and say, “No, I’d rather stay here and go to bed.” (then obviously this is going to be a BIG stretch of the imagination), I would maybe have his Daddy explain how much fun we could have or have his brother who is a BIG fan of the “Mommy/Daddy Date” encourage him to go.  But if Gideon STILL refused and I threw him over my shoulder, carried him kicking and screaming out to the van and buckled him into is car-seat, saying,

“Well I love you kid, so you WILL spend time with me.”  I don’t think you would be voting for me to win a “Mother of the Year” award...and rightly so!

Because could you truly enjoy spending time with someone that forced you to be with them?

There is a reason God doesn't spit us off of an assembly line as pre-programmed robots.  He created precious children made of flesh, blood and the ability to make their own choices.

He carefully hand-made each one of us, placing unique giftings and passions in our hearts.  He knew our first day of "Kindergarten" would come: a day that we would enter a crazy world full of hurt and confusion.  So He stuck a love letter (His Word) in our backpacks of how to survive (and even thrive!) in the madness of it all; and, most importantly, how to get back home.  He then carved out a hole in our hearts that He knew only a God-parent madly in love with their child could fill.

And then he waited.  And He is still waiting for us.

God is waiting for us to choose to love him.  He could have programmed us roboticly (is that even a word?) to say, “I love you, God.  I love you, God.”  but then, it wouldn’t be love, it would be a mindless program doing what it was programmed to do.  How boring!

And in the same way, God doesn't send people to hell.  People choose to go there when they choose to reject God and His loving invitation to join him in Heaven for eternity. Hell was not designed for us, Heaven was. But when we refuse God and His offer this is the only place there is that exists without Him.

God is preparing the ULTIMATE “Daddy Date” in Heaven.  Jesus is a BIG fan of the “Daddy Date” and he came to urge us to go.  He told us they are preparing a feast for us (Isaiah 25:6) that cherry Icees will have nothing on!  Jesus also said a place is being built for us (John 14:2) and being that He is the most famous Carpenter in the world, I’m thinking it will put every house on the "Parade of Homes" tour to shame. The alternative post-life hang out is much more scary than any monster hiding under the bed at bed-time.  The alternative is hell and Jesus had a lot to say about that place too.

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.  Matthew 10:28

If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. Mark 9:43

For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to hell, putting them in chains of darkness to be held for judgment. 2 Peter 2:4

He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Matthew 24:51

After reading these passages, one could conclude two things:

1.  Jesus did not care about winning popularity contest, He cared about speaking the truth, straight up and from the heart.

2.  Is there a hell?  HELL, YES!  And hell ain’t no party.  

We could choose to not love God and say “no thanks” when He opens His loving arms to us, inviting us on an eternal “Daddy Date”.  The beauty of the way God created us is that we are free to make that choice, to love him or to reject Him.  To jump in the van and buckle in for an adventure of our lifetime or to choose the darkness with stuff scarier than any monsters in the closet.


God does know what’s best for you, He could throw you over his big shoulder, march you into Heaven and make you spend forever with him.  

But is that really love?

Because ultimately, who we love and whether or not we choose to spend time with them (including forever) is a CHOICE.

Being a big fan of the “Daddy Date”, if you asked me if it would be a good choice to love God and spend eternity with him, I would say,

“God and Heaven...definitely YES!  Hell...NO!”




"There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done' and those to whom God says, in the end, 'Thy will be done.'  All that are in hell choose it." -C.S. Lewis