Action Girl Strikes Again!

Lately four words have been suspended in the air every time I stand at the crossroads between peace and worry, between fear and faith.

“Do you trust me?”

The situations change, the dilemmas take on different faces but the question remains, “Do you trust me?”

I don’t know…do I, Lord?

Because the answer to that will determine how I respond in this moment and, ultimately, it will determine the outcome of THIS situation...which could change my life forever.

But no pressure, right?!

Can I be real with you?  Trusting sometimes seems like INaction to a girl who loves action (which is why I truly am loving life with all my tiny people, just call me Action Girl!).  Trust seems like giving up but I’m realizing it’s really giving in to the Creator who sees the entire symphony while I stare in confusion at a single note on the music sheet.

You know that saying, “Some people have to learn the hard way?”  Hello, nice to meet you: I am that people.  Darn it all.   I seem to enjoy head-butting a brick wall repeatedly before I finally rub my head and say, “Well, maybe there’s a better way.”  Thankfully, I do eventually learn and try something different!

Just today I heard these four little words again when I hung up the phone after a conversation with my husband (and the loudest “la-la-la” song I could muster didn't do a thing to quiet that question in my soul).

Let me just say, I adore my man.  He’s a good, hard-working man and the best daddy I could have ever dreamed of to our four children.  I feel pretty dang lucky.  That being said...the man drives me crazy sometimes!  Especially when I feel I got marching orders for our life and he has a different idea.  Why can’t he ever just smile and say, “Yes, Dear.”?!  It’s not like I want to be in control…I just think sometimes my way is the HIGH way, as in the BEST way.  Like I said before: brick wall.

Both my husband, Bob, and I felt God put it on our hearts last year to get our home ready to sell.  I have no idea why since raising four children in a two bedroom home has been marvelous fun but, alas, I will sacrifice for the sake of the Kingdom if God has something better for us (wink, wink!).  

It was truly an exciting day last fall when (just a few days after I had decided to be completely content with where we are now) I felt God nudge me and say, “Get the house ready to sell next year.”  When I first heard this, I immediately wanted to know “the scoop”, “Sure, God: but then what?  Should we start looking for a new home?  Where are we going?  What will we be doing?  How will this all work?”  Here was the answer I got: “Do you trust me?”  I took a big breath and nodded, Yes, I do.  

Next, I sealed my lips (which should really be the 8th wonder of the world) and waited patiently for God to confirm this by putting it in Bob’s heart also (can I get a woo-woo from all the ladies out there who also think they hear from God first, ha ha!!).  Sure enough, a few weeks later, Bob (who had wanted to have the house paid off before we ever sold it, i.e. in the year 2050 when we would be transitioning to a nursing home) said the same thing out of the blue and I nearly tackled him to the ground in excitement (which brought NO complaints from him, of course).

Fast forward seven months to this spring as I envision our front yard; flowers blooming, green grass sprouting and a “For Sale” sign attracting just the perfect buyer for our well-loved home.  That would, of course, be according to “Tara’s Way or The Highway Plan” which was vetoed tonight by my sweetheart. His plans included finishing up a few home projects (which for a family short on time and cash and big on family demands made me feel like he was proposing we scale Mt. Everest, blindfolded.) and taking more time (remember, Action Girl here?!) to think and pray about it (boring, ha ha!).  Naturally, I did what any self-respecting Action Girl would do: I proposed my plan again and again…and again from different angles.  I try so hard to be tricky but tonight, I was busted by Bob, “If you insist, we’ll do it your way then.”  An image of a brick wall flashed in my mind and I sighed, “No, it’s okay, we’ll stick to your plan, that sounds wise.”  With that, I hung up and a tear escaped down my cheek.  Nothing was going according to MY plan and I felt helpless when suddenly, I heard four little words,

“Do you trust me?”

Do I trust Him to not only lead me but trust him to lead my husband in the direction we are supposed to go?  When I slipped a shiny band over my fiancée's finger six years ago and spoke the words of commitment until death that made him my Leader, my Best Friend and my Husband, I meant it.  But there are days that I try to carry a burden that is too heavy for my shoulders, days I try to lead and make him follow ME…days that I DON’T trust him which reminds me I’m not trusting the One that equipped him with the faith and fortitude to lead our family.

“Do you trust me?”

The question hung in the air as I stared at the silent cell phone in my hand.  

But I have to DO something, I have to MAKE something happen!  The protests of Action Girl were met with the same four-word-question and in my mind’s eye, I could see beautiful nail-scarred hands.  Who loves me more?  Who could possibly have a better plan for our life than the One that gave up his only Son so that we could have both life abundantly here on earth and in the life eternal that lays beyond this temporary home.

There was something a Girl of Action could do that would change things while I trusted God…

Something powerful…

Something amazing…

Something real…

I got down on my knees and prayed.

Yes, God, I trust You.

"Lead Me" Music Video

Sunflower Peeps Cake for Easter (Tasty Stuff)

Sunflower Peeps Cake for Easter

I LOVE baking with my kids because it brightens my day to see them laughing and loving the simple things in life: mixing ingredients (ie, making a huge mess), licking the bowl and spoon and of course, enjoying the fruit of their labor.

But I am NOT a baker!  I don't have the passion and patience to carefully create things of beauty from flour and faith.  I hope our FUN experience of making this unique cake for Easter will inspire you that ANYONE can do it (see the pictures below for proof and a good chuckle!)...

Ingredients:

* Yellow or white cake mix (and ingredients on the box needed to make it)

* Cake layer filling of your choice (pudding, jam, frosting, etc.)

* 2 boxes of Peeps (birds)

* Chocolate frosting 

* Chocolate chips (I used semi-sweet and milk-chocolate for differing colors)

Jude and Gabby sample the cake as they make it, yep-it's going to be yummy!

And their older brother gets in on the action when it's ready to pour into the pan.  Pour into TWO greased (I also lined with wax paper for easy removal) 9" round pans.  Bake according to the box's instructions.

Cool on wire racks then frost the top of one with whatever you desire (see ingredients above) and stack them like this.

Proof that I am NOT a baker.  The cake kind of fell apart on me when I frosted it so I put it in the freezer and said a prayer that it could be fixed!

Playing hide n' seek with EvaLee while we wait for the cake to firm up in freezer.  (Good idea: freeze the cake FIRST then frost it!)

"Mom, can I sample one...or TEN?!"

Whew, we were able to fix it up.  I also warmed the frosing for the second application and it went on much smoother.  Live and learn!

 Okay, mister--that's enough sampling the Peeps!  Save some for the cake!  Once the Peeps (we alternated the orange and yellow but do whatever you want!) are assembled around the edge (just set them on the frosting, they'll stick!) we filled the middle with chocolate chips.

I'm quite sure you and your gang could make this MUCH prettier, ha!!  I figure we had a BLAST making it and it's the thought that counts!

Happy Easter dear friends!

Chicken Pesto Panini (Tasty Stuff)

It was love at first bite when my husband and I went out to a local eatery and tasted their chicken pesto panini!  I am not a gourmet chef, but I took on the challenge of making a sandwich that would hit the spot on the days we couldn't escape for a date night and needed to have date night IN.  ThIS is the result...it's pretty easy to make and super tasty (or so me and my hubby think)!  Enjoy! 

*Note: I don't usually use EXACT measurements so add a little more/less to YOUR taste!

Chicken Pesto Panini

Ingredients:

* Chicken tenderloins, thawed (you'll need about 2 per sandwich)

* Tony's seasoning, to taste (or season salt)

* Olive oil, about 2 or 3 Tbls.

* 3 to 5 Tbls. of shredded Parmesan

* 3 to 5 Tbls. pesto sauce (I use a store bought pre-made, use whatever you like best!)

* Muenster cheese (2 slices per sandwich)

* Red onion (I use about 1/2 an onion for 2 sandwiches)

Here's the HOW:

Heat up the oil in a pan and throw those babies in the fryer!  Sprinkle liberally with Tony's (my best bud from my Louisiana days!) and flip once they have "seared" (lightly browned on each side) then cover with lid to cook through.

Meanwhile, slice up that red onion into strips....yum!  Throw them in with the chicken (on the side) when the chicken is almost cooked through.

Spread the pesto sauce on top of the chicken at the end.  Just heat it, flipping to coat both sides but be careful not to leave it in pan more than a minute or pesto will start to burn!

Meanwhile, cut up bread of YOUR choice to prep for grilling the sandwich.

Top the chicken with the shredded Parmesan at the END and remove from heat.  (mouth watering in anticipation!!)

Line up all your ingredients to ready sandwich for assembly.  You may use a George Foreman or panini press to grill it...or just make a sandwich, no grilling even required!  (we do usually like it grilled!)

Ready to grill!! (Heat up just a few minutes, check often!!)

Chicken Pesto Panini to go...or to STAY home and enjoy with your sweetie!  (Serve with a side of ranch and  sweet potato fries if desired!)

Meltdown Momma!!

I try to have a melt down at least once a month.

Okay, so I don’t actually try to…it really comes quite naturally.  And the whole “once a month” thing isn’t an actual goal, but I do seem to be making that quota as overall as I’m batting about 12 for 12 (12 melt-downs in 12 month’s time).

Here are the necessary ingredients that combine to create my monthly recipe for disaster; too many goals (my fault), too little sleep (my fault), too much striving in my own strength (my fault), too big of pride to ask for help (obviously, my fault again) and last (but certainly not least), too many unused Kleenexes in our home that are feeling lonely and need to fulfill their nose-wiping/mascara-swiping destiny.

I could perhaps blame it on the busyness of life with four tiny blessings underfoot each day…but I was still batting 12 for 12 when I had just one kid.  So maybe if I was child-free I could cope with life’s stresses in a more balanced way.  Hmm…sounds like a nice theory, but again, reality tells a different story as my husband has many fond recollections of hanging up his “The Doctor Is IN” sign on a monthly basis during our dating and newlywed years to be my listening ear as I bawled my eyes out.

And, honey, don’t even THINK that I was melt-down free before I had a man because let me tell you, then the tears came even more frequently as I lamented the void of good-hearted men in the universe.

In conclusion, the only common denominator in these monthly melt-downs is.... Moi’ (note to any men reading: don’t assume this always fell during the “Pass My Shotgun” week as there were the plenty of occasions when it didn’t).

The funny (or not so funny, depending on if you’re my husband or not) thing about Mama’s Meltdown Day is it could strike at any moment though it is usually preceded by days of suppressed feelings (most of which I haven’t had time to analyze and figure out) and if you throw in a few diaper-explosions or burnt dinners, the great day could arrive even sooner than anticipated.

When “Mama’s Meltdown Day” does arrive, it is sure to never dissapoint in the amount of drama that it produces.  “Days of Our Lives” and “As the Stomach Turns” have nothing on me.

The ideal setting for the meltdown to take place is usually someplace that gives off a pathetic vibe and isn’t too cheery because misery loves lame company.  I try to hold it together (ever the brave, sacrificing marter of motherhood that I am) until the children are napping or watching a movie in the hopes they won’t land in therapy when their older for being a live witness to a hysticarl alien taking over their normally happy mother and watching her inhale an entire box of Kleenexes in a single breath.

Once these elements are in place; children distracted, Kleenexes in hand, dark corner of the bathroom located, and (bonus) a quick glance in the mirror to remind myself I’m truly pitiful (greatly helps if I didn’t have a chance to change out of my pajamas and never put on make-up or did up my hair)...then the dam breaks.  Look out Hoover, you have real compition now.

Of course, it gets rather boring just crying, eating Kleenexes, dwelling on all of the negative things in my life (NO positive thinking or praying allowed!!) and just SITTING there, so after awhile, I do what any responsible and accomplished woman would do: call your man and share the love.

Since my man isn’t always aware that Mt. Meltdown has been having some suspicious activity under the surface the previous week, when he first picks up the phone and hears me sobbing on the other side, unable to articulate what’s happening, the hair on his back stands up in alarm.  Is she okay?  Was their an accident?  Did something happen to one of our kids?  Is the house on fire (or, more likely, dinner?)…did the car break down?  

“Baby!  Talk to me!  What’s wrong?”  His worried tone is fuel for my fire.

“I can’t do this…it’s so hard!”

“What’s hard?  Are you okay?  Where are the kids, dear?”  

“They’re watfching Sesame Street, don’t worry about them.  Ths is about ME.  I’m NOT fine!  I’m having a…(tears)…a….(sobbing)….a…(deep, ragged breath)…a MELTDOWN!!!”

“Oh.”  His voice sounds relieved, “That’s good.  I thougth something was wrong.”

Ah, men.  No wonder they have a shorter life expectancy than women.

Work deadlines will have to be pushed back an hour…or year…while I pour out my woes and unload the burdens of this world onto the hefty shoulders of my own John Wayne.  The only feedback needed from the man on the other end of the line are these words,  “Yes.  Oh.  Uh-huh.  Really?  Yes.  I UNDERSTAND.”  Of course, when the dumptruck of emotions has unloaded, I can think a little more clearly and realize I am an desperate need of some quiet time with God.  As strong as my man’s shoulders are, he can’t carry my burdens for me.  The only One that can is the One that promised me, “Cast your cares upon me, for I care for you.”

Well, there you have it.  That’s a moment-in-the-Mama’s-Meltdown-Day for you.  It’s nothing fancy, not something I’m proud of and typically I am at fault for arriving to that point.

But, the way I see it, if I DIDN’T have a monthly meltdown then,

1.  The Kleenex company would be out of business.

And,

2.  I wouldn’t realize how desperately I am a sinner in need of a Saviour (and having a good man and a bucket of icecream helps too).

Fear Factor: Dinner Edition

Do I have picky toddlers when it comes to new foods?  No way…at least not if they have a napkin to spit into on stand-by!  


We are always trying new foods around here.  In fact, just the other day I made them try something new, their daddy’s favorite dinner: Green Bean Casserole.  I think casserole is a code name for any food that could do moonlighting in little glass jars and be sold as baby food.  Don’t get me wrong, I love casseroles!  And the leftovers in my fridge are always happy to find a new home in my 9x13 pan and a new identity with a last name of “casserole”! 

Here’s how tonight’s new food tasting went down:


My four-year-old, Gideon, was the first one to sit in the electric, I mean, dining room chair.  He poked at the Green Bean Casserole (a delicious mix of green beans, rice, ground beef and cream of mushroom sauce) as if it were home to a live alien that would at any moment jump off his plate and attack him.  It took a bit of gentle encouragement (such as, “Eat it or else, kid!”) before he finally took a bite so small it would take a microscope to identity what actually traveled the 1,000 miles from his plate to his frowning mouth.


Once the ¼ sized granular of rice with one microgram of sauce hit his tongue, all hell broke loose.


There was great convulsing as he franticly flapped his arms, gasping with great difficulty around the piece of food in his mouth, “Need napkin...napkin PLEASE!!!”

My eyes were rolling as my hand supplied him with the requested emergency extraction tool.  Soon all was right in the world again as he sealed the offending morsel of food in the napkin and politely placed it on the edge of his plate.


“Okay, I tried it!”  Gideon smiled broadly at his shocked audience.


Hmmm…not exactly what I had in mind!


Thankfully, his younger brother, Judah, had missed the Broadway production since he had been using the restroom while Gideon had been risking his life on the “Fear Factor: Dinner Edition” show.  Little did Judah know as he plopped into his chair the road of great peril and danger that lay ahead for him.


“What’s this?”  He asked as he poked at the casserole pile on his plate.  Yes, they are definitely brothers!

“Me not like this stuff.”  


An evil eye from his mother did an amazing thing to his transform his choice of words.


“I mean, this is not my favorite.”  Judah decided he wanted to live to tell about this dinner.

Gideon rushed onto the scene to save the day for his discouraged Momma and said, 


“Just try it, Jude.  I took a bite!”  Wow, that was surprising.  I was feeling good about Gideon’s encouragement and just as Jude was about to try it, Gideon added,


“I just spit it in a napkin after I tried it.  Just have a napkin ready!”


Okay…I just lost that loving feeling.

Judah’s fork was emptied quickly…back onto his plate as he shook his head, 


“Me not want that!”  After numerous attempts by Judah to place the food into his mouth, the brave, brave boy finally succeeded with a bite that was actually followed by a swallow.


We all waited with baited breath and my heart soared with hope: here my toddler is, trying a new food and I think he’ll actually like it!


This soar of hope was followed by a quick crash landing as the napkin he had on stand-by (per his brother’s recommendation) was suddenly filled and sealed, joining his fellow regurgitation-holding-buddy on Gideon’s plate. 


“Now what’s to eat, Momma?”

Our lives are certainly never dull on “Fear-Factor: Dinner Edition” at the Cole place.  Next casserole I have in mind: Thai (you-up-to-get-you-to-eat-it) Casserole.  Stay tuned for our next episode…