What If?

Somewhere between changing a dirty diaper and tossing a pancake onto a plate for my little peeps, I froze and thought: “What if?” What if…I miss it?

What if I rush through my day, through my week, through this LIFE and don’t take time to BE God’s hand of love. To SEE God’s hand of love. When this thought popped up, I didn’t feel guilty or even condemned. It was a GOOD thought really because it inspired me to get BUSY.

Not that I need any inspiration to get any busier than I have been these days. With four kids under the age of four (all still at home…with me…24/7. Did I mention 24/7?!), I have plenty to do! So I am not referring to the running-in-the-hamster-wheel-of-life-busy. More like a busy getting to what could answer that “what if” question that is leading me to an open road of adventure and mystery. That question is grabbing me by the hand and throwing me out of my comfort zone. Did I ever mention how comfortable my comfort zone is? So…it’s been uncomfortable but yet thrilling.

And this thrill…this JOY that is a result of kicking up some dirt down this unknown road has inspired this blog. Simply because I want you to come with me. Well, not with ME really (though I bet it would be a blast to road-trip with you!) but rather with God.

Don’t freak out-I promise not to get religious on you. Religion is boring. Take it from an X-PK (that’s code for x-pastor’s kid) who was around church most of my existence. I’m thinking more: REALationship with a VERY REAL God who doesn’t want to SIT in a darn (PG-13 rating here, ha!) pew on Sunday and then DO NOTHING Monday through Saturday. Meanwhile, we are surrounded by a dying world in need of a serious trip to the ER that is trying to cover their injury in silly band-aids. Will ya’ll join me in some triage work on this journey? In some little steps that just may bring about a BIG change? In saying, “Yeah, I’m little. But God’s big. (Veggietales songs sum up life well!)” Can that be enough? I think so. Isn’t it a relief to know it’s not all on your shoulders? That God has the super-powers but yet chooses to save the day THROUGH US? (Crazy, right?)

I am a classic over-analyzing Mom who is fighting the guilt wars (Did I give my kid enough veggies today? Read to him enough books? Discipline her correctly? Laugh and play with them enough? Teach them to be responsible? Prepare him for school well enough? Give her too much sugar (obviously since she’s bouncing off the walls…)?? Etc…etc…blah and blah!). Thus, the thought that “you must become less so I can become greater” (Jesus’ idea, not mine!) is liberating! It’s amazing to think all I have to do is the tiny step of obedience God leads me to take. Then, ta-da!!! HE takes over! HE is the star, not me (thank goodness because I heard the camera adds ten pounds…). HE is the One who actually makes the plant grow. I just got to put that seed in the dirt. Yeah, I can do that.

Will you come with me? This is just thought #1. Next blog? The front-line reports of HOW we are putting some love into action. Be ready for some smiles (who can’t smile at how cool God is walking on this earth in scuffed up sneakers worn by imperfect people?!)…some tears and some serious fears (I have got them…remember? We are now leaving the comfort zone.).

And what if we don’t do this? What if we don’t leave our comfort zones NOW? Well, why not now? Will we truly ever be less busy? So I have sleepless nights with a newborn this week, but as they grow, won’t it be sleepless nights with worry when my teen is out past curfew? Will the list of home repairs ever really get shorter (hint, hint, honey, if you are reading this! Ha ha.)? Will the errands ever cease? Will I one day just wake up and realize, “My gosh, my house is cleaned. Errands all done. Home projects complete. Finances in perfect order. Kids gone for the week. I have TONS of free time…whatever will I do? Oh, NOW is a good time to be God’s hand of love. I finally have arrived!”

Well…I am not planning for that though it sounds kind of nice…really nice…okay, back to reality. So, I am choosing (isn’t everything in life a choice?) to start TODAY. Messy home or not. Three kids in diapers (no joke) or none. Bad hair day (or year) or not. I am thinking anyway that it’s hard to relate to a perfect person and since no such fellow exist, let’s dive right in. As is.

Because one day in the sweet by and by I’ll be standing face to face with my BFF (Best Friend Forev, good ol’ grade school memories!), my King, my Savior. And when Jesus says, “Were you faithful?” (Thankfully he doesn’t require us to be successful, just faithful, whew!) I sure hope I won’t say, “I was going to be…once I wasn’t so busy.” I really, really, really want to be able to reply, “Yeah, Jesus. I was BUSY letting YOU love people through me.”

Let’s get busy.  Because...WHAT IF?