Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Shut Up & Kiss Me

I finally realized the other day when Bob gets a sultry Rhett Butler (Gone with the Wind) look and says, “You need to be kissed…and often…and by someone who knows how”,  he is actually hoping to get me to shut up by kissing me so I can’t keep talking.

Of course, I'll take that statement from him over his other favorite, "...It's hard to kiss the lips that chew your a** our all day long..." that he heard once in a country song. Either way, it's a win-win for him anytime I'm actually quiet and let the tide of emotions roll on by instead of riding those waves every time they come around!

Ah, to be The Prize Winner from Defiance, Ohio.

Movies can be so educational and inspiring.  Once in awhile there is a movie that raises the bar of who we could be.  The Prize Winner from Defiance, Ohio is based on a true story of an enterprising mother (played by Julianne Moore) of ten who kept poverty at bay with wit, poetry and she had an upbeat attitude even though she was married to an alcoholic that couldn't hold down a job.  

What grabbed me about Moore’s character wasn’t so much what she did but rather what she didn’t do.  If anyone had a reason to get in their spouse’s face and point out some major flaws, it was her.  If anyone had the “right” to have a bad attitude about the way life was turning out, she had it!  She didn’t just take lemons and make lemonade, she made lemonade with a smile and even figured out how to make their family some money while doing it.

The quiet and kind way she responded to trials ranging from spilled milk (when it was all they had to eat) to more bad news from her husband simply amazed me.  It seemed like she knew somehow that no one thrives or reaches their fullest potential under constant criticism.  Instead, she used words of encouragement and quiet support that produced real change.  Lasting change.

It’s been years since I saw that movie but I still often ask myself, “What would the prize winner from Defiance, Ohio do?”, (although I don’t know if W.W.T.P.W.F.D.O.D would make as cool of a bracelet as W.W.J.D.).  I aspire to one day posses her attitude of grace in all situations.

Sometimes that helps me actually shut my mouth when I’m about to start chewing someone’s you-know-what out.  Just sometimes.

But on those rare occasions, I am always reminded that some sugar and a smile really does help my man reach his potential and motivate him to want to change.  And it motivates him to actually want to kiss me instead of just distracting me in the hope that I’ll finally shut up.


  1. Several years ago I read two books kind of on this topic that I really liked (Jordan liked that I read them too).
    For Women Only (Shaunti Feldhahn)and
    Created to Be His Help Meet (Debi Pearl)
    I am learning that even if you have a great marriage/family you can always do things to improve, especially if it's just your point of view on things. In fact, changing my POV always make me feel more productive.
    Great Post Tara! Thanks ~Jessica

  2. I have read the book by Feldhahn (loved!) but will have to check out the other one, sounds good! Thank you.

  3. Haha Tara haven't heard that country song, but I'm sure my hubby would love it. I feel at times I do the same thing, and could learn a lesson from the Prize Winner myself.
    We should get braclets made up of W.W.T.P.W.F.D.O.D, do you think it would fit around the entire band?
    Thank you thesavingmomparents for your suggested readings, I may give them a try.

  4. I agree! Let's make those bracelets, we would surely get some looks as people try to figure out THAT one (:


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